Tuesday, November 3, 2009

45 minutes of fame

this morning, my friend and co-worker, laura, and i were interviewed on a local radio station regarding heart healthy eating and national healthy eating day. it was a really early morning for us both, but loads of fun to be interviewed and answer questions from local callers. the call topics included: top fruits and vegetables, pesticides, fried chicken intake, and grocery store fruit prices. my favorite part was when a man called in about colon cleansing. definitely not an expert on that one so we just refered him to ask his physician. sometimes you just have to hit the abort button.

Monday, October 26, 2009

turkey burger recipe

so i haven't been all that inspired to write as of late, what with the heart walk monster gobbling up my entire life for 3 months and then the subsequent detox that i fear i haven't come out of as of yet. there have been some great strides in my life as of late that i hope to share soon. but as for now, i want to get back to the blogging world. maybe pick up a few more followers, but honestly be a steward of the creative juices that may be. i want to redirect this blog to house several of my ideas, thoughts and favorite things, not just my writing. with this move, i hope to be able to blog more versus waiting in the wings for some magical cue for literary inspiration.

speaking of juices, i want to share with you a great recipe i made up last night for the juciest turkey burgers ever (FOR-E-VER....thanks sandlot). if you know me, you know i love to cook and try out new things. my whole family does and i guess i am trying to keep the trend consistent. i had a friend over for an impromptu dinner which yielded a great recipe. i like using turkey because it is leaner, but this most certainly can be made with beef. measurements will not be accurate, so let your olfactory senses guide the way!

turkey burgers

1 lb turkey meat (i get 50% fat free. the 99% fat free is just too dry. get more meat if you want bigger burgers!)
1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
2 tsp oregano
1/2 cup bread crumbs (for binding)
half an onion, diced (i like vidalia, but maybe i'm partial)
healthy dash of red wine (this is the secret to major juicy heaven)
cheese of choice
pinch of salt
fresh cracked pepper

:::the main register to know the amount of ingredients is correct is by your nose. if it smells too salty, put more bread crumbs in. if it doesn't smell strong enough, add more worcestershire sauce. make it your own, to your tastes! for me, i love lots of worcesterhire and heaps of fresh cracked pepper.:::

mix all ingredients in a medium bowl by hand. take the side of your hand to score the meat into 4 parts to make sure your patties will be a consistent size. take 1/4 of meat and make into a patty. hint: make the center thinner (to be shaped like a blood cell) to make them cook flat and not into a ball. repeat with remaining meat. in skillet, heat olive oil (i love gia russa extra virgin olive oil) on medium for frying purposes. when olive oil begins to ripple, crack fresh ground pepper in the oil to enhance flavor. place the 4 patties in olive oil to cook. flip when you see half the meat cooked up the side. cooking time about 10 minutes (5 minutes/side). do not press the burgers down with spatula or the juices will burst out! once done, place cheese of choice (i like a spreadable swiss cheese by laughing cow) on burger (while still on skillet) and allow to melt. remove from skillet when cheese is melted. dress as you wish. enjoy!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

pass it on

i had to pass this blog onto you fine folks...it's a funny post about what's it's like to be single in the Christian arena. i'm very confident i could add about 78 more points to this post!


Thursday, June 11, 2009

types and shadows

every first wednesday and sunday of the month, my church does communion. now, many of you may know that i am part of the worship team, therefore i get to participate in a plethora of these services, as we have multiple meeting times on sundays. that being said, i have a lot to think about during each time i see and experience this most wonderful representation and remembrance of what Jesus did once for all. watching the faces of the repentant, acutely aware of a sacrifice of which we are all unworthy. a beautiful sight to behold no doubt. the communion example is recorded a handful of times within the gospels, but my favorite was logged by luke.

we see this gathering of devoted, radical men took place during passover. a time at which the jews celebrate the angel of death "passing over" the jewish nation in egypt and subsequent exodus. i believe our Lord to be extremely strategic and at this instance, He shows that clearly. He picked a time of the year where the nation of Israel is remembering a time where God's mercy was incomprehensible and His plan unforgettable. a time when death passed over a nation...not because they deserved it, but because He's a man of His Word. how quickly i forget that sacrifice and that i too am passed over.

however, many of you may not know that the wine and bread scenario was not something foreign to this jewish brigade of brigands. but they have tasted and seen this "tradition" every friday at sundown of their lives. you see, every shabbat (or sabbath) the observant jewish household is called to rest because of the fourth commandment. and by this, God mapped out how to begin this time of observance. the mother would say a blessing over the house as she lit the candles, the father would say the blessing over the wine, and then say a blessing over the bread. this time is something that looks much like our communion tradition today, however on the "original" communion day, Jesus had another idea. He skillfully took His beloved disciples through a time that they were very familiar with. the blessing of the wine and bread. the passover. the sabbath. yet, what He was showing (and what we oftentimes miss in our communion services) is that He was showing us the new covenant in a deep, meaningful way. breathing life into this type and shadow. He was taking something old and familiar and making it have a story far beyond the sabbath blessing. He was showing how He was going to redeem the World...taking from the old and making it new. or a better version of the Old. He was also saying as I redeem what's old, remember to Rest. for that is why He died. that is why He allowed us to be passed over. that is why He lives today. that we may rest in Him forever.

my friends, remember that our Lord is a Redeemer. remember that He takes from the old and makes it new. remember that He calls us to rest. not in what we can establish or figure out or create. but in His shadow.

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


so i've been thinking about this whole love thing. i really haven't had much to write about in the blogging world because i've been chewing so much on the below post. and where chewing on an idea for long renders it tasteless, meditating on love has yielded something deep. something that is moving me. loving, not to be loved, but because we are called to. loving with no expectations. it's a scary thought to this poor heart, but something the Lord has been challenging me with. touche!

with that said, i have another thought that developed yesterday. here's the part where i would love to have comments if there were more than three readers to my blog. i digress. as i was pondering why we as broken, hurting human beings build walls to those around us, several questions formed. is it protection? is it assumption? is it fear? is it habit? a recipe of all four ingredients? and what do our logical minds think will benefit us from said wall building?

all this pondering reminds me of the walls of jerusalem. one of the more beautiful sights i have ever seen. they were built post 70AD destruction and remain to this day. they are a signpost of wars gone by, however remaining amongst an ancient city riddled with wars and rumors of wars (matthew 24:6). so here you have a city with walls built to protect, yet you have an enemy that has outgrown the city's meager, antiquated tactics for defiance. and the barricades remain.

translate this to your own heart. building battlements in memory of previous wounds and in preparation for potential blows. we, as citizens of the fallen world, are taught to protect or be killed. and at whatever cost. yet i see how (as i have mistakenly believed i am my sole protector) i have in fact become it's prisoner. you see, as i have manufactured ramparts, i have carelessly surrounded myself and become captive in my own deception. i, like countless others, have built walls for an enemy whose arsenal cannot be ceased. battlements that are more tourist attraction than buffer.

insert Jesus. the One who speaks of love without fear. love without hope for return. just love. what a freeing thought...to relegate your protection to The Protector and just love as He did. with no thought or expectation of love, pride, rejection in return. to the One whose name is Warrior. i want to love like that. love like Him. and in turn, grasp the hand to take me out of the den to a new kind of encounter with Him and with others.

and in doing so, i have realized the salve for years of heartache is not to retreat, build walls, or lay prostrate, but to love more. the very opposite of what all your intelligence is relaying. to surprise your enemy with a new weapon. an ageless, defenseless weapon that is always sharp. always on target. always His.

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
Henry David Thoreau

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

looks like love

"I wont run when it looks like love
I won’t hide beneath the fear
Of how my past has come undone"

"Looks Like Love" by needtobreathe

it has come to my attention as of late that in each personal relational style there is harbored a link to the past. now for what you might know of me, i'm not so into the whole "let's dig up all our past wounds and nurse them all the while gaining new wounds and have to do it again" movement...BUT i am a proponent of when the Holy Spirit awakens your heart to a place where He wants to smooth. the past couple months have been a glorious yet revealing time in my heart where the Holy Spirit has shed light on some habits i've so carefully swept under the proverbial rug.

knowing that this will be an unending cycle, i have actually taken off the big girl pants and become like a child. and it has been an adventure of the heart. i actually go through circumstances with the Lord rather than slap a few memory verses on the issue like a bandaid. done! move on! yet the Lord has so generously given me a crucible as to which i have been broken on. broken to feed more people.

what i am trying to communicate is that i have fear of love. a fear that has been covertly crippling the way i communicate with and love others. the masks. the shame. the wounds. they are very real, yet my God says He is bigger.

so now i have chosen to trust the Lord. trust Him as my protector. my provider. my saviour. what if i actually say what i mean and *gasp* people know what i am really feeling? what an astounding point! what a revelation! now to you it might be small potatoes but to this gal, it's big time.

insert lyrics from needtobreathe. i was riding in my car, windows down of course, and their song "looks like love" came on the shuffle. and that was it....they read my mail. it's a challenge to the heart and a bane to the ego. one of which i long to face with the Lord's help. and help He will.

i am thankful for a saviour who is patient and always good. i am thankful for the Author of Love kissing me first. teaching me. i am thankful. hopeful. His.


"There is no fear in love, for Perfect Love casts out all fear." 1 John 4:18

Friday, April 3, 2009


there are few things i love more than good weather, brown skin, warm water, engaging book and good music. yes, i am speaking of that illustrious day of laying out by the pool (or any body of water for that matter). as i was getting ready this morning, my roommate invited me to spend a day o' sunnin' with her and her friend. um, yes please! i cannot even describe to you the freedom that jumped in my heart as i thought about tomorrow's beautiful day of nothing. and with so much that has hopped on my plate and into my vision, this gift of a wonderful day has already given me hope for good things.

if you know me in the slightest, you know i am a perpetual deep thinker which oftentimes yields itself more trouble than it's worth. i envy those blogs out there which seem so carefree and jovial. i envy the people behind the crafty words of wit and humor. so tomorrow, i'm taking a "i-think-too-much-help-me-for-the-love" break and allowing this mind to lounge. to read magazines with little to no thought. to laugh at nothing. to take a vacation of the mind while my skin begins it's heralded trip to brown-dom.

bring it on sun. bring it on life.

Monday, March 30, 2009

fall or rise

this past weekend was absolutely amazing. i was in atlanta for my best friend from second grade's bachelorette party. knowing that it was going to be 12 girls cooped up in a 2 bedroom condo for 2 days of chaos sounded, well, miserable. but true to form, my assumptions were far from reality. this weekend, in all it's hilarity and tight quarters, was a weekend of freedom.

dancing. laughing. eating. remembering. celebrating.

why freedom you may ask? in the past couple months i have felt so unlike myself for various reasons. old masks here. new masks there. impress this person. work harder for this person. and so on. but enter your best friends from growing up and i found myself in a place of release. i cannot express to you how liberating it felt to be, well, me. these girls KNOW me. they know the brace-faced, bushy haired, tomboy and they still love me. they know the rebel. the angster. the revolutionary. they know it all....and they still love me. they love me when i am polly-put-together and love me when i am susie-screw-up. they still think of me as the same person and love me regardless. it's not even a question. i don't even have to think about if they still love me whether i fall or rise.

all i am trying to portray is an unconditional love that i haven't felt in awhile...or let myself feel rather. a love that a Father has made and loves me to rest in. this weekend was a great reminder that He has made me in His image. i don't have to work for His love. and the weekend showed me where i frequently equate His love to earthly examples. this weekend taught me to shake off the old and herald in the new. and laugh while you do it.

so i thank you girls for being shining examples of the heart and bringing this one even closer to more of Him and His plan.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

Psalm 16
A miktam of David.
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."

3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.

4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.

5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

spiritual tilex

this morning i was going through my normal bathroom routine....fixing the hair, debating putting makeup on, wishing i didn't wear contacts....and as i began to think about my weekend guests, the innate desire to scrub everything in my bathroom astounded me. i dropped everything, even though my proverbial time crunch was beckoning, and ran to grab the tilex and scrubbing bubbles (dear loyal friends of mine). have to clean! have to clean! emily and katie beth are coming! have to clean!

after positioning the entire bathroom for the speediest scrub down this side of the mason dixon, i felt a check in the ole spirit. i've come to recognize the check and the Lord laughing a little at me, in hopes of teaching me something. i'm sure i inserted a quick quip or two in before i decided to succumb to, you know, the maker of the universe and all.

He began to speak to me about why i like to clean so much. why i like to fix things. why i like to fix things in me. they were gentle, yet keenly targeted questions (in true Jewish fashion) at 8am. and i began telling Him that i like everything to be really clean for my guests. i want them to feel like i prepared for them. that they didn't drive 2 hours for mildew, dog hair, and wine stains. so during my well-programmed soliloquy, the Lord drops something in my heart. He began to teach me that this is why He has placed confession in our lives. because, as humans, we like to have things in order, almost to earn love or earn friendships. we like to have our lives scrubbed with tilex to make sure those we desire will continue to see us in our utmost state of 'perfection.' but confession allows for us to say "here's the ugly and you still love me? genius!"

it's a marvelous system for those of us who struggle with the law vs. grace. so now my challenge is to put the sponge and disinfectant down, let those people love me and i them, and dance because the Saviour made it this way.

i like this real love thing.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


my dearest friend, emily young, wrote this for me today and i thought it was so poignant i would feel remiss if i did not share:

"Were it not for the enemy none of us would feel the need to protect or harden our
hearts. To love freely and with abandon- as we are called to do. Jesus did, so we should too. It sounds simple, and though it's not that black and white, I think it can be. Of course a little within the lines, but feeling ashamed to admit the desires of you heart is too much pressure to put on yourself. I think as humans the hard part about loving with abandon is that we expect something in return. Maybe not even love back. Sometimes we just expect rejection (i.e. when we assume the worst). If we obey the call to truly love others freely with abandon, we do so for the Glory of God. And in that, I think there are no regrets."


check her blog out: www.embyoung.wordpress.com

fight to rest.

i just feel like writing. nothing in particular quite yet but here goes.

i love Jesus. it's been the most amazing ride from age 14 on. i think the thing i love about Him most is He is a redeemer. in all those times i try to figure things out or feel poorly because my inept ways don't quite make the cut....i take heart because He is a Redeemer. breathe.

i was reading in numbers this morning, going through the vast regulations that were so prevalent in the old covenant. i found myself thinking "why would the Lord ever put in place something that He knew wouldn't work?" i'm sure you, as a deep student of philosophy, have thought this before. i have too. yet i rarely sit around long enough to hear about it. my thought (among many) was because it allowed a table for which the Lord could show our need for a saviour. an alter if you will. an alter built from rules, regulations, to do's, and blood. lots of blood. insert the once-for-all atonement and it means so much more. this atonement that broke the alter and rent the curtain in two. if we never truly saw what life would be like if there was no sacrifice then maybe we never would appreciate isaiah 53. i actually (admittedly) thought it would probably be easier to have such set rules so you knew exactly what to do. which leads me to my next point.....

from there i move towards how quickly my little mind runs back to regulations (the old covenant). and loves to keep people on that track as well. something i absolutely love about my roommates is that they are so free living. if the house isn't clean, the pillows are in disarray, and the hair dryer is not put up.....they are completely ok. me on the other hand, am sitting in the corner, conversing with my o.c.d. and begging it to give me a break for 2.5. i was reminded of that this morning as i was reading in numbers, how my particular ilk leans to rules. this is one of the things i am learning while i live with these amazing, and largely different from me, roommates. to let go. to be free. to breathe. i know this sounds simplistic, but to me it was revelation. i am learning to give it up. to let the Lord govern my thoughts more than i ever thought i needed. to be myself. to be the woman the Lord created. freed.

i see that freedom is so much more. and some of us (namely, me) have to fight for it a bit. fight to rest. fight to be free. fight to live. just like israel and canaan. the Lord showed the promised land and then told them to go fight for it. wow.

i heard a pastor say that if you aren't resting in a fight you don't know the Lord's strength. so Lord i ask for rest amidst the swarm of thoughts and doubts. grace to rest in Your kindness.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009


i am an event coordinator. and not just your small 100 person event, but an event that draws thousands for one short morning. with this in mind, i am in training here in nashville and have that overwhelming since of "how in the world can i do this?" i asked my friend and trainer how she handles everything. she quickly retorted "you can't do this alone so don't even think about it." and for what seems like the first time, i don't want to. i admit, my first reaction is to wonder why i can't just do it all myself. my small mind bends towards thinking it would be so much easier. i can control myself. i can tell myself what to do. i can depend on myself. but when you get into "needing" other people, that's when i gets ever so scary. albeit, i am now set-up to have to need people on a daily basis. need the community. need a dependable person. and however scary this is to me concerning my job, it seems like this fear goes much deeper. it feels as if this notion has been in my ways much longer than the american heart association has been in my life. i sit back and wonder what it's like to need people (or a person) and be ok. how does it feel to relish the fact that you are created for community?

i realize the Lord is doing some work in me concerning trust, dependency, and fear. all of which take on several forms and faces in this walk of mine. but as i look towards the Lord i remember He is the gentlest of surgeons and it would be folly to get up from the operating table. folly to think you can go it alone, continuing to harbor whatever form of sickness, and forgo the operation. sure when operated on you are exposed to the surgeon, sure you are vulnerable to nicks and cuts. but the operating process is something that will yield healing and restoration, and much faster that any home remedy we may swallow, believing it to be a swifter, easier way.

and so now i see the Lord, yet again, showing me that He IS community. He is the Trinity. three in one. if He is constantly in community, how much more do i need?

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me. Your builders make haste; your destroyers and those who laid you waste go out from you. Lift up your eyes around and see; they all gather, they come to you. As I live, declares the LORD, you shall put them all on as an ornament; you shall bind them on as a bride does." Isaiah 49:15-18

Thank you Lord for not forgetting me. For not being threatened by these walls and old ways of thinking. Thank you that the old shall be made new and be as an ornament of splender.


Monday, February 2, 2009

donkeys and freedom

i'm about to start this blog off with a sentence, i am sure, that has graced many a blog: i haven't written in awhile but i thought today was as good as any to get back on the train. phew! we got through that atypical sentence with only minor cuts to my pride. moving right along.

God is a mystery. a divine adventure within a Name. the Name. HaShem. i must say that this past month has been a quite particular event in this walk of ours. with a renewed focus and determined stare, i have been refreshed. it all started with the 21 days of prayer and fasting at my church. beginning this new year with a time of letting go has been a ride. not only did i abstain from certain everyday niceties, but i was challenged to fast assuming. we all know the old adage, so i will refrain from repeating it here...but yes it made one of me. a big fat donkey. i must say, when i was asking the Lord what He would like me to give up, assuming was the last thing on my mind. but now i see it was the first on His for me. long have a struggled with fear or battles of the mind. long have i relegated to rest in hypothetical situations in the name of protection. you see, it was out of self-protection that this mind would jump to conclusions that were quickly followed by fear or doubt or walls. but as the Holy Spirit has so gently 'red-flagged' my thought pattern, the catalyst to years of battle has been exposed. no more, my friends.

this bugger named assuming is not the Lord's way. it was a slippery slope, bent on taking me down the longest, windiest shoot possible. however, when i set up my thoughts and subsequent actions to what Jesus says, shall i say, it became a miracle. i complete and utter miracle. and continues to be. if miracling was a word, i would insert it here. a continuous miracle, as it were, is happening in my life. it's like the Lord has set me up for freedom and i'm dancing in the thought of it all.

i cannot give you bold testimonies or qualitative data, but what i can say is that it's wonderful. it's a battle, yes, but it's worth it. every second of 'oh yeah...sorry Lord' is worth it.

that Jesus is a genius, i tell you what.