so i've been thinking about this whole love thing. i really haven't had much to write about in the blogging world because i've been chewing so much on the below post. and where chewing on an idea for long renders it tasteless, meditating on love has yielded something deep. something that is moving me. loving, not to be loved, but because we are called to. loving with no expectations. it's a scary thought to this poor heart, but something the Lord has been challenging me with. touche!
with that said, i have another thought that developed yesterday. here's the part where i would love to have comments if there were more than three readers to my blog. i digress. as i was pondering why we as broken, hurting human beings build walls to those around us, several questions formed. is it protection? is it assumption? is it fear? is it habit? a recipe of all four ingredients? and what do our logical minds think will benefit us from said wall building?
all this pondering reminds me of the walls of jerusalem. one of the more beautiful sights i have ever seen. they were built post 70AD destruction and remain to this day. they are a signpost of wars gone by, however remaining amongst an ancient city riddled with wars and rumors of wars (matthew 24:6). so here you have a city with walls built to protect, yet you have an enemy that has outgrown the city's meager, antiquated tactics for defiance. and the barricades remain.
translate this to your own heart. building battlements in memory of previous wounds and in preparation for potential blows. we, as citizens of the fallen world, are taught to protect or be killed. and at whatever cost. yet i see how (as i have mistakenly believed i am my sole protector) i have in fact become it's prisoner. you see, as i have manufactured ramparts, i have carelessly surrounded myself and become captive in my own deception. i, like countless others, have built walls for an enemy whose arsenal cannot be ceased. battlements that are more tourist attraction than buffer.
insert Jesus. the One who speaks of love without fear. love without hope for return. just love. what a freeing thought...to relegate your protection to The Protector and just love as He did. with no thought or expectation of love, pride, rejection in return. to the One whose name is Warrior. i want to love like that. love like Him. and in turn, grasp the hand to take me out of the den to a new kind of encounter with Him and with others.
and in doing so, i have realized the salve for years of heartache is not to retreat, build walls, or lay prostrate, but to love more. the very opposite of what all your intelligence is relaying. to surprise your enemy with a new weapon. an ageless, defenseless weapon that is always sharp. always on target. always His.
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
Henry David Thoreau