spiritual tilex

this morning i was going through my normal bathroom routine....fixing the hair, debating putting makeup on, wishing i didn't wear contacts....and as i began to think about my weekend guests, the innate desire to scrub everything in my bathroom astounded me. i dropped everything, even though my proverbial time crunch was beckoning, and ran to grab the tilex and scrubbing bubbles (dear loyal friends of mine). have to clean! have to clean! emily and katie beth are coming! have to clean!

after positioning the entire bathroom for the speediest scrub down this side of the mason dixon, i felt a check in the ole spirit. i've come to recognize the check and the Lord laughing a little at me, in hopes of teaching me something. i'm sure i inserted a quick quip or two in before i decided to succumb to, you know, the maker of the universe and all.

He began to speak to me about why i like to clean so much. why i like to fix things. why i like to fix things in me. they were gentle, yet keenly targeted questions (in true Jewish fashion) at 8am. and i began telling Him that i like everything to be really clean for my guests. i want them to feel like i prepared for them. that they didn't drive 2 hours for mildew, dog hair, and wine stains. so during my well-programmed soliloquy, the Lord drops something in my heart. He began to teach me that this is why He has placed confession in our lives. because, as humans, we like to have things in order, almost to earn love or earn friendships. we like to have our lives scrubbed with tilex to make sure those we desire will continue to see us in our utmost state of 'perfection.' but confession allows for us to say "here's the ugly and you still love me? genius!"

it's a marvelous system for those of us who struggle with the law vs. grace. so now my challenge is to put the sponge and disinfectant down, let those people love me and i them, and dance because the Saviour made it this way.

i like this real love thing.